My Interview with Damon Wayans.

So has been a productive year. Not only did I get a chance to perform on Comedy Central's Premium Blend, I got a chance to interview the host, Damon Wayans! I've dabbled with entertainment reporting before, but realized quickly it wasn't for me. Just can't see myself waiting outside for hours, leaning over a rope, sucking someone's ass for a sound byte. Can you? But this was a great opportunity - I got to visit the set before performing, have my interview be seen my millions of people (in my mind anyway) online, and meet MOTHA FUCKIN' DAMON WAYANS! When he walked into the room the first thing I noticed was how tall he was. Yes sa', he is a tall cup of coffee if ya know what I'm sayin.. (I don't know what I'm sayin..) I figured I'd ask him the hard, pressing questions that his fans have always wanted to know like "Chicken wings? Or Chicken tenders?" "Biggy or Tupac?" You get the idea. I couldn't do it. I couldn't break him! No laughing, smiling, heavy breathing, nada! It was super obvious, my homey da clown is NOT givin' me the funny unless there's a paycheck involved. Wow. Maybe I'll be like that 25 years from now. Yeah, prob. not. At the end of the interview, I asked him to rate it on a scale from 1 to 10. He said 3. On camera! So I looked in the camera and said, "YEAH! If 1 was the GREATEST!" Then I said "Man, I'm over you Marlon." Good times everyone. I hope Comedy Central will call again, cause I don't think Damon will anytime soon. Damon, if you're out there, I forgive you sweety. You can check out my interview w/Damon @ http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/premium_blend/index.jhtml and click on his lovely face.

Dry Fruit.

I had to go food shopping, and wanted to shop healthy. My father told me I should buy alot of fruits and vegetables. So, I went to Fairway. I went off peak hours cause if you've ever been to Fairway, you know the security line @ JFK moves quicker. Damn. Anyhoo - I'm picking out oranges, and I see a mouse in the oranges! I swear, you can't make that shit up. So I get a guy that works there. I'm like, "Hey man, there's a mouse in the oranges!" And he's all "No there's not, I don't see one.." (like I'm carzy & making shit up) And I'm all "LOOK MAN! He's right there!" (having no idea how to tell the anatomy on a mouse) And I swear to you, so not a joke, the mouse looked @ me, looked @ him, pissed on a orange, then went back into the pile. And without a beat, homeboy then says "Look, it's gone, so you can pick from the top." SWEET. Moral of the story? Buy dried fruits & vegetables. Welcome to my first blog, which sounds much like flem, mucas, something you need to take an expectorant for. Just moi?