Spring Break 08! Titty Shake.

This year I had the honor of being the warm up act for MTV's Spring Break 08' in Sunny Isles, Florida. I was excited, because well, I don't know..in my mind, I'm thinking "I'm gonna be all cute n funny n stuff, and the producers from MTV will fall in love with me and want to develop a show for me.." hahah, please, bitch. The shows were hosted by the one and only Tila "Want a shot at love" Tequila and USA's former beauty queen Tara Conner.. Both ladies, who hosted different shows, were awesome. Lots of peeps want to hear the "real deal", and honestly, these women were on-time, hard working, surprisinly witty non-divas. The kids were the ones who needed a talking to..I got on stage and I'm all .."Hey y'all..my name is Michelle ..Miss Michelle if ya nasty...heeeyy..." haha They were all "Shut up! Where's Tila and my free t-shirt fat bitch?" Oh hell to the no. Ya know, even when I went to school in Miami, I used to wear clothes. I'm talking bikinis with platforms, and that was just the guys. Shut up. There was this one girl who was 8 months prego, in a bikini - wait for it - and she looked good! Please. Did I feel old? Um, sure..at times. But I'll tell ya this much, hanging out with the youth is just as educational as hangin' out with the elderly. I'd do it again, but this time I'd totally wear a spank. Okkaaay?? Um, MTV - I'm still waiting for my contract...hehe Check out www.mtv.com for time & info.

Happy Belated St Paddy's Day. Shut up.

Saint Patrick's Day has special meaning for me because it's the day I moved to The Big Apple. It was only 7 years ago, but it's that weird time where it feels like it was yesterday but like 10 years ago...I can still remember walking to work on 6th Avenue at 4 in the afternoon, stepping over green vomit and shiny green and orange necklaces. Good times. In an unrelated, but related event, Lewis Black (one of my all time fav comics www.lewisblack.net) has a hot new show on Comedy Central called "The Root of All Evil". Comedy Central's website, The Motherload, (http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/) produces weekly snippets of evil shit featuring rotating comics in NYC & elsewhere. Check out why we find St Paddy's Evil..in a loving, humorous, nasty, way...of course.